One of the R'sonists youngest members, Bailey joined the side in 2007 after replying to a request for new blood on one of Rovers' internet forums. Having made the joint mistake of being both young and pitching up at a game in a beanie hat, he and his fellow youngsters were duly christened 'Blazing Squad' by the Harimans and it's stuck. Usually deployed at left-back, although his cameo on the right wing against QPR at WorldNET 2009 is still remembered fondly. The mystery brown mark on the carpet in his room at the same tournament is also still remembered... though not as fondly. A highly valued member of the squad, he scored his first ever goal for us at WorldNET 2011 to stun reigning champions Bradford.
One of the original R'sonists, Alan Brown made his debut in the side's first ever fixture at WorldNET 1998 in Reading. Accomplished full-back and former member of popular 80s beat combo Big Flame, AB has also chipped in with several vital goals in his role as R'sonists penalty-taker. Now in his 15th season with the club, and impressive feat when you consider his knee has been held together with duck tape for the majority of those. Thankfully this is compensated by the able balance provided by his substantial third leg. Once infamously got the week of WorldNET wrong causing him to miss the first group game. That was 12 years ago... we've not let it lie.
Ian McKenzie look-a-like Paul Buckle was roped into playing for the R'sonists the same way most of us have been, by making the mistake of answering his phone on a Saturday morning when we were short of players. Comfortable at full-back and in the middle of defence Buckle has been a great addition to the R'sonists squad and has battled hard to overcome injury and illness to remain with the side. He's also a former UK BMX champion... no really he is... ask him.
Save it, Dave Burkett is the R'sonists goalkeeper and born again fitness guru. Having only taken up running in the last couple of years Dave ran the London Marathon last year; trust the R'sonists to stick their fittest player in the least mobile of positions. A good shot-stopper Dave has been with the side for seven years now, but unfortunately work often hinders his appearances, though credit to him, he'll often roll off a night shift straight onto the field for the R'sonists. Hence why people call him The Cat, not due to his agility between the sticks, but because he often appears a bit sleepy.
A new addition to the R'sonists, Joe made his debut for everyone's favourite supporters' side in the victory over Grimsby Internet Mariners in October 2011. An employee of the Rovers, Joe was appropriately recruited on the recommendation of our own renegade agent former goalkeeper Liam Scully. Effective at either right midfield or right back, or up front when we're desperate, Joe has already proved a welcome addition to the side.
Marc is another player who was roped into filling-in for the R'sonists one week and liked it so much he stayed. A talented and deceptively fit midfielder Marc has been a key addition to the squad since playing his first game in 2010. Can usually be found abusing Bailey. A man of juxtapositions he ooks like a member of boyband Five that went off the rails after the success. Owns a kitten.
Doncaster's premier Richard Gere look-a-like, Paul has been in control of the R'sonists midfield for the best part of eight years now. Much more than a Pretty Woman, like many of the R'sonists' 'veterans' Paul's fitness puts the younger members of the squad to shame, whilst his ability to read the game means you'll never hear him saying I'm Not There mid-match. Paul's ability to play a calm and accurate pass under pressure is second to none and is talked of from Sheffield to Chicago. Truly An Officer and a Gentleman.
Cullo is a relatively new addition to the R'sonists, having joined the squad in 2008, but is already an integral part. Naturally a left midfielder he has adapted well to manager Matt Smith's refusal to accept that he's not a left-back and has also filled in at centre-back on a couple of occassions. Unfortunately his commitment to giving up his time to coach local junior football means he's often unavailable to us for much of the season, the selfish sod. His only low point in three years with the R'sonists came at the end of WorldNET 2010 when he dragged a penalty so wide in the shoot-out it somehow ended behind him.
When not pestering (i.e. abusing) famous footballers on Twitter, Little Matt is he R'sonists main goal-threat. A quick, talented and skilfull forward with a keen eye for goal Matty has scored consistently for the R'sonists since making his debut five years ago. We thought we'd lost his services when he started playing 'proper' football of a Saturday afternoon the other year, but luckily for us he loves the game so much he'll play for anyone... even us.
Big Andy initially joined the R'sonists as a goalkeeper, a position in which he performed fantastically for the club for several seasons. But a couple of years ago he tired of life between the sticks, where his abuse of his fellow team-mates often went unheard, and so decided to reinvent himself as a striker. Annoyingly for the rest of us he proved to be pretty good in that position too and has been one of the side's most consistent scorers in the last couple of seasons. Generally comes into his own at WorldNET, not in terms of goalscoring, but in ensuring the weekend is 'entertaining'.
The other half of the Harriman package, Matt joined the R'sonists in 2004 and has been a regular figure in the backline since. Capable of, and usually willing to, play further up the field, Matt has scored his fair share of goals and also took over as captain from Alex Dougall in 2010. It was hoped that his recent embrace of marriage and fatherhood would mature him, but sadly it means he just saves up all his idiocy for when he's playing for us.
One of our newest squad members Dan made his R'sonists debut in 2012 in the friendly fixture with Brighton and has gone on to become a regular. Another player able to play pretty much anywhere in midfield and attack and capable of whipping in a good delivery. Scored his first goal for the side in February 2013 against Sheffield United thus making up for the misfortune of having to work with Matt Harriman on a daily basis.
Another welcome new addition to the R'sonists set-up Rob was initially scouted putting in some excellent performances... behind the bar that Keith Sanders and Matt Smith frequented. Badgered us enough on Twitter to get a game and he's proved a very good addition; able to play at full back or on the flanks and a great sense of humour too.
Paul Buckle look-a-like Macca is oldest member of the current R'sonist side, always a hotly contested honour. His age only shows in his experience though and having initially joined as a forward Macca now usually plays as an accomplished full-back. Always willing to move the ball around but not adverse to taking his man on he continues to be a vital member of the R'sonists squad. Notoriously non-trusting of his fellow Doncastrians he also takes his entire home contents to Leeds each WorldNET.
Gray has been puffing and wheezing on the R'sonists flanks when called upon for a number of years now. A regular performer in his first few years with the side and also often on the scoresheet, his appearances have unfortunately been curtailed by family matters in recent years, but he remains a welcome part of the squad and will usually bowl up once a season to score or set-up an unfathomable amount of goals. However, if he continues to put the well-being of his children ahead of away trips to Barnsley the committee may be forced to fine him for skewed priorities.
The very newest recruit to the R'sonists set-up Kieran was recruited in March 2013 and should make his debut in the coming weeks.
Jonno joined the R'sonists alongside the Blazin' Squad movement that brought us Bailey and Sheldrake, but is able to distance himself from the other two by being a good foot taller than them and also having continued to age after he sat his GCSEs. A competent no-nonsense centre-half Jonno has been a useful addition to the R'sonists over the last few years, particularly when he stops talking.
Keith originally joined the R'sonists as something of a box to box midfielder, but went on to prove his worth up front, notably forming a devastating strike partnership with Lee Drobac at WorldNET 2006. A strong player in any position he was a great asset to the side, and greatly missed when a knee injury ruled him out for the best part of three seasons. So lengthy was his absence that he was initially listed on the 'past players' section of this site. However, 2011-12 saw Keith make a welcome return and he made an instant impact, playing in four positions and notching two goals in that October alone.
One of the newest recruits to the R'sonists Ben made his debut against Ipswich Punch Drunk FC in summer 2012 and has gone on to make a few more appearances in the current season. Able to play on either wing or up front he's now settling in to the IFA ethos. Watches Armthorpe Welfare when not at Rovers, thus taking Glen's crown as the squad's chief Leo Fortune-West stalker.
One of the R'sonists' newest recruits Karl made his debut for the side in the season just gone and already looks set to be a useful addition. A decent centre-half also capable of playing at full-back Karl has also displayed an eye, and more specifically a toe, for goal, netting against Grimsby at the end of the 2010-11 season. Our only current Uni student (despite the belief that Glen is still studying). Last season manager Matt Smith has decided to deploy Karl on the left-wing, a decision he's given some credence to with a couple of goals against Coventry. Unfortunately though just days after that Coventry game Karl suffered a broken leg and is still on the road to recovery.
An excellent goalkeeper we were delighted to welcome Liam Scully back to the R'sonists fold for his second spell with the side in 2012. Liam has been away playing 'proper' football for a number of local sides but has always been keen to get back involved with the R'sonists and we're glad he has finally been able to do so. In his first stint with the side he was once carried shoulder high from the field at WorldNET by the two watching Celtic teams after his heroics helped win a shoot-out against Rangers, and he's continued the eccentricity on his return, attempting to break down the left wing against Exeter at WorldNET 2012. "Your wife?!"
Alongside Bailey Andy is the other surviving member of the 'Blazin' Squad' R'sonists infiltration of 2007-08. Shelly was a welcome addition to the R'sonists bringing the two hitherto absent qualities of youth and ability to the squad. A talented central midfielder capable of scoring goals from distance Shelly remains one of the R'sonists' key threats... just a shame he's impossible to get hold of, and writes without using vowels.
Another long-serving R'sonists who has played with the club over a decade Karl is at home in either midfield or at full-back and is commonly understood to be the side's 'wild one' on the field. Was subject of a transfer bid from Grimsby's Internet Mariners in 2012 as he accidentally struck twice for them in an IFA League game. His position as club hardman was assured many years ago when York City's Yorkie Bears turned up at Cantley Park and Karl volunteered to make up their numbers. Lined up against his usual team-mates he duly proceded to scythe down poor Rob White as the R'sonists looked to break forward. Also one WorldNET he infamously made a customer in a Leeds fast-food outlet break down in tears after suggesting he looked like Gaz from Supergrass. No mercy.
Team manager Matt Smith, along with Alan Brown, has played for the R'sonists since the very beginning; a feat made even more remarkable when you consider his injury record. When not confounding medical science with another ailment Matt has served as a proven striker and has found the net in each of his 14 seasons of IFA football. An integral part of the R'sonists set-up from the very beginning Matt's commitment to the side is second to none and his willingness to sacrifice his own place in the side to give everyone a run out is highly commendible.
One of the newest recruits to the R'sonists Harry announced his arrival in some style, with a wonder goal on debut away to Grimsby's Internet Mariners in 2012. Harry made his first venture to WorldNET that year too and settled straight into the side, bringing energy into the midfield and another welcome personality to the squad. Despite all his fine contributions though his most notorious moment so far remains meeting a corner against Barnsley with his bollocks and having to sit out the next ten minutes as counted and recounted to two.
Having made his debut way back in 2001 Rob was a regular fixture in the R'sonists side for several years before moving on to University and then a mini World Tour, primarily its believed to escape the collective abuse of the Harriman brothers. Now back in the UK Rob has returned to the R'sonists fold and we're glad to have him back. A constant goal threat when deployed either up front or out wide, he's also a handy goalkeeper too. He's finest moment since his return was arguably WorldNET 2012, when he infamously requested a "double cloakroom and coke" from a confused barman.
Glen first encountered the R'sonists in opposition, lining up against them for the Retford Branch of the Supporters' Club for the ill-feted Battle of Cantley Park in 1999. However he soon defected and has just finished his 13th season as an R'sonist. Originally deployed as a free-kick and long throw-in taking centre-half, Glen has gone on to fill every position for the R'sonists on the field, including a half-season spell as the slowest, most right-footed left-winger ever deployed. He now undertakes the role of Player/Director of Football and sorts all the side's fixtures from our London based head office. His brilliance even extends to producing the club website. The word you're looking for is martyr.